This just in: Michael Jackson to continue to be just fine

That's right, folks: "Jackson Lawyer: Neverland Ranch Saved."

I found it via the trusty NYT, where only a sex scandal could get the Obama-Clinton war off the homepage. And once that happens, well, it's a free for all, and next thing you know, this story is rolling through the AP news box.

No word yet on who, exactly, is saving other things. Like the whales, Darfur, the ozone layer...