How to: Be a junta!

Foreign Policy mag has an amazing slideshow up right now. Say what you will about its Gettleman piece, but “The Ultimate Idiot’s Guide to Being an African Junta” is fantastically surreal. David Crane — you remember him, surely, from his role prosecuting some of the most notorious war criminals in recent West African history — has left formal lawyering behind and started a consulting firm. On the client list? The Guinean army.

Colum Lynch (whose hire as a blogger was FP’s smartest move in awhile) broke this delightful bit of WTFedness on his UN blog, Turtle Bay. Not only did the Guinean army hire Crane’s consulting firm for advice, said firm conducted a review of the Army. Grade? A! Nice work, boys! Now if you can avoid nasty media reports about “alleged” human rights abuses during your next city siege, maybe you’ll get an A+.

But Crane et al also gave the Guinean military a slideshow that could be called How Not to Be (Perceived As) a War Criminal. I recommend all 16 frames of it, because of all the pictures of white soldiers taking what we’re to assume is very responsible aim NOT at civilians, and because you will never again see a project credited to a crew of such stature with this many exclamation points. Enjoy.

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