Why a “girl” can’t “change her mind” about rape

“can a girl change her mind about rape”?

Dear Internet surfer who put that into Google and ended up on my blog:

No.  Rape is not a state of mind.  It is not a “mood.”  It is not a choice by the fickle feminine species to decide that sex was rape and not consensual sex.

We women change our minds about a lot of things.  About our clothes, our shoes, and yes, about our men.  Some of us live in cultures where we are also allowed to change our minds about who we want to have sex with.  We change our minds about decisions we make for ourselves.  About things we can control.  About what we (have the power to) choose.

In no culture, in no country, are we asked if we want to be raped, or by whom.  It is something that happens to us, not something that we have a say in.  We can no more “change our minds” about rape than we can decide to be raped in the first place.

FYI.

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